Scholar?

I was looking over Pesach at a Hagaddah that was chock full of stories. One of them concerned me greatly. It told of a famous rabbi who declared about another person that if he spent time going on outings with his wife then there was no possible way he could be a Torah scholar.
This disturbed me greatly. Actually, I was raised to some extent on a diet of such stories. Stories which claimed that in order to be a great scholar, and by extension, to be the type of person God wants you to be, that it is necessary to forgo all normal family relationships. Not that one should not marry and have a family, but not to be too involved, and allow oneself to be too caught up in those relationships. A few stories illustrating that point linger in my mind. The wife of a Rosh Yeshiva whose school I attended, famously never told her husband when she went into labor with a child, so as not to disturb his learning.
I don't think such stories help build good marriages, and set up youngsters with realistic expectations of what marriage should and could be. It is beyond me why such stories are taught, published, and promoted.
I contrast that with Breslev teachings of people like Rabbi Shalom Aroush and Lazer Brody about the topic of marriage. So much healthier!