"What should I be thinking about as I pray," asked my friend. "I am naturally inclined to focus on my personal needs and those of my family. On the other hand we are taught that one should really not focus on his own needs, but on the pain of God for the fact that we are in exile and not able to serve Him fully. It is difficult for me to concentrate on that, but if I focus on my personal needs I end up feeling guilty."
I thought about his dilemma for a few moments and then told him that I agreed that it wasn't natural for a person to pray without any focus on his own needs. Perhaps the following story could illustrate what our sages have in mind when they tell us to focus on the pain of the Schechina (presence of God).
During WWII the Nazis occupied Morocco. They imprisoned the King of Morocco. One day his captors decided to put him on trial for his life, and were leading him through the streets of Fez to his trial and certain conviction and death. On his way he noticed the Baba Sali walking down the street with his son. The Baba Sali was trying to avoid the attention of the Nazi guards, but the king, who had previously met his as the representative of Moroccan Jewry, called him over.
"Give your son a blessing," the King commanded the Baba Sali. Nervous of the Nazis, the Baba Sali mumbled a quick blessing. "No," said the king, "You must give him a truly heartfelt blessing."" Seeing he had no choice, the Baba Sali gave his son a lengthy and meaningful blessing. As he was about to conclude his blessing, the king said to him "Include me in the blessing as well." The Baba Sali did so.
The king was not killed and after the war he invited the Baba Sali to the palace to thank him for his blessing. The Baba Sali expressed surprise at the request the king had made of him years before. "Why did you ask me to bless my son," he asked. "Why didn't you just ask me to give you a blessing?" "I wanted you to give me a blessing from the bottom of your heart," the king explained. Had you just blessed me it wouldn't have been so heartfelt. Once you were giving the blessing to your son I knew it was coming from the deepest place in your heart, I then asked you to include me in it."
In the same way, it would be difficult, if not impossible, for us to truly be able to approach God and just feel His pain. However, when we first focus on and feel our personal and family pain, we can then transfer that feeling towards God, and feel His pain as well.
So, yes, we must feel our own pain, it is the vehicle through which we can come to feeling the pain of God.
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