The Haggarian Connection

In Parshas Chayei Sara we are taught that Avraham sent his son Yitzchok to fetch Haggar and bring her back to Avraham. It trikes me initially as a bit strange that Avraham would send Yitzchok, of all people, to do this task. After all the relationship between Haggar and Yitchok's mother was not a good one, and Yitzchok had not a good experience with Haggar's son Yishmael, either.
On looking a little deeper there is an interesting connection between the two. Both Yitzchok and Haggar have the Gematria (numerical value) of 208. While our Sages point out that this is eight times the Gematria of God's name, there may be another connection as well.
When Sara realized that she could not give birth she suggested to Avraham that he take Haggar for a wife, "Perhaps I can build a family through her." I want to suggest that Sara sensed that within Haggar there was the same trait of Gevurah that Yitzchok possessed (hence the same numerical value). Through prophecy Sara knew that she was destined to have a child with this trait. When she saw that she was not capable to having the child herself, she assumed that Haggar, who possessed the same trait, was meant to be the surrogate mother.
And, indeed, Haggar, by giving birth to Yishmael, did show that she had the ability to bring forth a child with the trait of Gevurah. Unfortunately, Yishmael chose to use it for evil rather than good. This is why what so upset Sarah about Yishmael was that she saw him מצחק. Rav Moshe Dovid Valle explains this to mean that she saw he was Yitzchok-like. Unfortunately in a bad way, not a good one. However, because he was so similar to Yitzchok she insisted that Avrohom banish him as she feared that that similarity might lead to Yitzchok emulating the path of Yishmael.

The Instinct to Do...

A few years ago I wrote about Eisav. I posed the question as to whether or not he was aware of the wicked person he was. I quoted the Shem miShmuel who writes that Esav was not aware of his wickedness, nor did he ever stop to question his behavior. It was that lack of self-questioning, that surety that as the son of Yitzchok he could not possible be doing anything wrong, that led him to become the evil person he was.

I want to elaborate on this point.

HaChalban, in his commentary on Vayikra, while discussing the story of Nadav and Avihu, explains that before sinning Adam HaRishon had an instinctive understanding of the will of God. This instinct was lost after the Sin and no humans possessed that instinct until the time of the Avos (the Patriarchs). Our Sages teach us that Avrohom fulfilled all the Mitzvoth of the Torah. How did he know what to do if the Torah was not yet given? By instinct.

This sheds some light on the mindset of Esav. He saw his father and grandfather were people who always knew instinctively what it was that God wanted of them. He assumed that his instincts were equally in sync with God's will. He never thought twice that that might not be the case, nor did it dawn on him that his ancestors had worked on their character to become the people they were; he neglected to do so.

Taking this one step further, we can understand the sin of Nadav and Avihu. At the giving of the Torah the world returned to a state akin to that which existed in Gan Eden. They intentionally did something that they were not commanded, but that they instinctively felt was the right thing to do, because they felt that they were living in an age where instinctive service of God was paramount.

Their mistake was predicated on their only relying on their instinct and not combining it with the wisdom of their elders. חכם עדיף מנביא we are taught. A prophet who understands God's will instinctively, still needs the checks and balances created by a Wise Sage to ensure that his instinct is not leading him out of bounds.

For this reason we find that when Pinchas killed Zimri and Cuzbi he was then filled with the souls of Nadav and Avihu. This is because that killing is not halachically mandated, but, in this case, what he did was the will of God. Interestingly, we are taught that prior to killing Zimri Pinchas went to Moshe to ask if it was the right thing to do. Moshe told him that this was outside the realm of Halacha, but if he was so angered by their behavior he was permitted to do so. We see than that Pinchas, even when acting instinctively and even though he was right, first consulted with the Sages to make sure that his instinct was not misleading him.

Asking

Imagine for a moment that Rivkah had come towards the well and quickly assessed the situation. Then, without Eliezer even asking her, she offered water to him and his camels. Would he still have chosen her as the wife of Yitzchok? Was his asking her first for the water an integral part of the test that he had established?

Why does Hashem desire for us to pray to Him in order to receive? If He wishes to do good to us, why can't He do so without our involvement whatsoever?

One of the keys to doing a kindness for someone else is to do what you can to make sure that the recipient of your kindness is not left feeling like he was helpless and completely dependent on your kindness. Always allow the recipient to feel that in someway he was a part of helping himself.

When a person finds himself in a position where he is a receiver and not involved at all in the giving to himself (or giving back to his benefactor at all) he finds himself feeling shame. As part of the total package of giving, it is the benefactor's responsibility to ensure that the recipient feels no shame.

Why is there shame?

As we have discussed elsewhere activities that are Godlike are those which bring us the most satisfaction. Anything in which we engage that is not Godlike is uncomfortable to us. God is a giver and never a receiver. As such, it is giving that brings us satisfaction, not receiving. In order not to feel shame when receiving it is necessary for the recipient to feel that he played at least some part in the giving, or is given a chance to give back in return.

This is why Hashem established the concept of prayer in order to receive from Him. Prayer enables us to feel that we are not just receiving, but that we were involved in facilitating the giving to ourselves as well. It removes that taint of shame.

In the same vein, had Rivkah started helping Eliezer without his first asking, she would have left him feeling helpless and only receiving with no involvement of his self. Only by waiting for him to ask was she able to empower him and make her kindness complete and show that she was a fit wife for Yitzchok.

This principle explains why it is important to allow someone for whom you did a kindness to thank you, or to do something in return. By allowing them to give back to you the taint of shame is removed from them. The giving is now complete.

The Plishti Blockade

"How are we are meant to understand the killing of 200 פלשתים (Phillistines) by Dovid HaMelech, and his bringing their ערלות (foreskins) to Shaul HaMelech," my friend wanted to know. My initial thought was to point out that the פלשתים are referred to as ערלים (uncircumcised) in many places in Tanach. Rashi teaches us that the literal meaning of ערל is a blockage. Ergo, the פלשתים represent some sort of blockage to the Jewish Nation whicd King Dovid needed to remove in order to take his rightful place. More than that I was in the dark...

However, after further review I discovered a comment by the בעל הטורים (Baal Haturim) that shed much light on the issue. He quotes the Mesorah (an ancient, cryptically terse, Midrash) which points out that we find the word וימלאום in two places. The first place is in פרשת תולדות (Parshas Toledos) in reference to the fact that Avraham had dug wells which the Plishtim then filled (וימלאום) requiring Yitzchak to dig the wells once again. The second context is when Dovid filled (וימלאום) the quota of ערלות (foreskins) that Shaul had demanded of him. This connection made it clear to me that my original suspicions were correct. Clearly, the בעל הטורם was drawing a connection between the stopping up of the wells by the פלשתים and the need for Dovid to remove the ערלות of the פלשתים.

It still begs the question: What is being stopped up?

The Ramban is puzzled by the amount of text taken up in the Torah with the discussion of the wells. His understanding is that the wells represent the ability to allow the spiritual forces introduced by Avraham and Yitzchak to sprout forth in the world. The פלשתים were fighting against the dissemination of those teachings, and Avraham and Yitzchok were constantly fighting back. By the time it came to Yaakov, the battle had been won. Presumably then, we are safe in assuming that the פלשתים at the time of Dovid and Shaul represent the same force; they were blocking the spiritual growth of the Jewish Nation. Only after their defeat would that growth be possible. Interestingly, after the victories of Dovid over the Plishtim, we no longer find them any reference to their oppressing Klal Yisroel in Tanach.

When it comes to the אבות (patriarchs) it is quite evident that during the time of Avrohom and Yitzchok their ability to disseminate their teachings on a wide and long term scale was quite limited. The נפש אשר עשו בחרן (souls brought close to God in Charan) disappear from the scene never to be seen again. The families  of the first two patriarchs are very small, and not all the children follow in their spiritual path. It is only with the advent of Yaakov, after Yitzchok had successfully concluded his battles with the Plishtim that we find ופרצת ימה וקדמה that he had the ability to begin to spread his family, and his teachings all over. Furthermore, what do we find in the Torah of the blessing of Avraham to Yitzchok at the end of his life? Nothing. It is only after Yitzchok has negotiated a truce with the Plishtim, and gotten them to stop blocking him that we can see the true poetry of the heart of Klal Yisroel ויתן לך אלקים מטל השמים ומשמני הארץ (And God shall give you from the dew of heaven and the fat of the earth). It is only then that we find blessings such as those that Yaakov gave his sons prior to his death.

I would suggest that something similar is true generations later in the time of Dovid HaMelech. Dovid and his son Shlomo represent the לב (heart) of the Jewish Nation. It is in their words that we find the most beautiful expressions of the soul of a Jew. We find no such expressions beforehand. It seems that the full expression of the soul of the Nation was suppressed as long as the Plishtim were around. It was only with their demise that these expressions became possible. Perhaps we can also suggest that as long as the Plishtim were present the manifestation of God's presence was more limited as well. This is why the Nation only had a משכן (Tabernacle) until the demise of the Plishtim. And that was a structure which the Phillistines succeeded in destroying. It was only with Dovid's victories over the פלשתים that it became possible to build a בית המקדש (Temple).

This final point would seem to be supported by the following. Yitzchok was never victorious over the פלשתים, all he accomplished was a truce with אבימלך (Avimelech). The full measure of outpouring would have to await a victory over them and an abolishment of the truce. When Dovid tried to capture Yerushalayim he was told that he could not until he removed the blind and the lame from there. Our sages teach us that the blind and the lame were statues that symbolized the treaty made between Yitzchok and Avimelech. As long as that treaty was in force, Yerushalayim, the home of the greatest expression of the spirituality of the Jewish Nation, would not be able to be in Jewish hands. That expression could never be fully realized. Dovid sought someone to remove the blind and the lame and יגיע בצנור (reach the pipeline). It was only be finally being victorious over them and removing this scourge from the midst of the Jewish Nation that the full expression, the completely open pipeline of spiritual abundance, would be able to be bestowed upon the people.