Taking them Back

 
We are taught that when our Teshuva (return to Hashem) in inspired by love for Him then all of the aveiros (sins) that we committed in the past turn into merits.

During Aseres Yemei Teshuva we performed the ceremony of Tashlich in which we threw our aveiros into a body of water. But now that we have completed the process and are entering into the Sukkah in a loving relationship with Hashem, we won't those aveiros back as they are now merits. That is why on Sukkos we go back to the water and draw the water for the SImchas Beis HaShoevah. What had previously been poisonous and injurious we now want back as it is a powerful force for good.

Chazal also tell us that the Torah says ולקחתם לכם ביום הראשון, and you should take for yourselves on the first day. Why is Sukkos described as the first day? ראשון לחשבון עוונות it is the first day for the reckoning of our sins. There are many explanations offered for this cryptic statement. But based on what we have said we can explain that as Sukkos begins we have the confidence that God accepted our loving teshuva. Until now we didn't want our sins to count. Now we want them to count as they will count for our merit.

Inspired by Sifsei Cיen - Sukkos

Asking

Imagine for a moment that Rivkah had come towards the well and quickly assessed the situation. Then, without Eliezer even asking her, she offered water to him and his camels. Would he still have chosen her as the wife of Yitzchok? Was his asking her first for the water an integral part of the test that he had established?

Why does Hashem desire for us to pray to Him in order to receive? If He wishes to do good to us, why can't He do so without our involvement whatsoever?

One of the keys to doing a kindness for someone else is to do what you can to make sure that the recipient of your kindness is not left feeling like he was helpless and completely dependent on your kindness. Always allow the recipient to feel that in someway he was a part of helping himself.

When a person finds himself in a position where he is a receiver and not involved at all in the giving to himself (or giving back to his benefactor at all) he finds himself feeling shame. As part of the total package of giving, it is the benefactor's responsibility to ensure that the recipient feels no shame.

Why is there shame?

As we have discussed elsewhere activities that are Godlike are those which bring us the most satisfaction. Anything in which we engage that is not Godlike is uncomfortable to us. God is a giver and never a receiver. As such, it is giving that brings us satisfaction, not receiving. In order not to feel shame when receiving it is necessary for the recipient to feel that he played at least some part in the giving, or is given a chance to give back in return.

This is why Hashem established the concept of prayer in order to receive from Him. Prayer enables us to feel that we are not just receiving, but that we were involved in facilitating the giving to ourselves as well. It removes that taint of shame.

In the same vein, had Rivkah started helping Eliezer without his first asking, she would have left him feeling helpless and only receiving with no involvement of his self. Only by waiting for him to ask was she able to empower him and make her kindness complete and show that she was a fit wife for Yitzchok.

This principle explains why it is important to allow someone for whom you did a kindness to thank you, or to do something in return. By allowing them to give back to you the taint of shame is removed from them. The giving is now complete.