Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Joy

I was learning this morning (Yom Kippur) the Sefer Karvah el Nafshi. The following was very meaningful to me:
Happiness is synonymous with גאולה (redemption) and the rebuilding of the Bais HaMikdosh (Temple). The opposite of happiness is an experience of exile and destruction. If a person thinks that Godliness is synonymous with a lack of joy then he will suffer a long exile. This person may see someone else being happy and high on life because of his inherent Emunah and thinks to himself that this person is acting in an improper manner. He thinks that a person who carries the "yoke of heaven" has no natural joy and liveliness.

He thinks that happiness is a prize for doing Mitzvos properly. Only after performing many Mitzvos in the most strict manner will he allow himself some joy in life as he thinks he has now made his Creator happy. But if he wasn't able to do more than is absolutely necessary, and surely if he God forbid committed a sin, he will not allow himself any joy and won't allow any light into his soul.

The fact that he exists is not sufficient reason to be happy. The fact that he opened his eyes this morning is not enough to lift his spirits and bring and inner calm and satisfaction. The minute he wakes up he begins to beat himself like a cruel master beating a slave. "Come on. Get up. You got a job to do." He does not allow himself to feel like a beloved son sitting at his father's table.

His Neshama is always storming, never satisfied with the little bit that he is able to accomplish. His body is berefet - a rejected child completely unsuccessful. Obviously, anything he has done is worthless. If he would see someone else doing the same thing he would praise the other, but trying praising for the same accomplishment and he will be incapable of accepting the compliment.

This is because his Neshama is not in conflict with the body of someone else. Therefore he has he ability to see the efforts of another. He can appreciate and express how wonderful that accomplishment is. But between a Neshama and the body within which it rests there is a battle of exile. So he does not allow himself to light up. He can't say "How fortunate am I that I can serve my Creator. I can pray to Him and recite blessings. I can study His teachings...

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