Connecting the Heart

For years I have tried to figure out how to properly daven (pray). Most of those efforts were focused externally. I have purchased countless seforim (books) each one offering its own approach to proper prayer. I read Yesod V'Shoresh HaAvodah 25 years ago or so, and found it to be a very intense workout. I am not sure if I got much more than intensity from it, as well as an attempt to direct my mood during davening according to the dictates of the sefer.

Since that time I have had books from a German perspective, from a Chasidic perspective, from a Lithuanian perspective, anthologies, halachic based works, and Kabbalistic works. Nothing has really done the trick for me long term.

Eventually I learned where my error lay. I was approaching davening with my head and it is meant to be approached by the heart. My pursuit of understanding was rooted in the same type of intellectual endeavors I devoted to Torah study. But to succeed in this arena I need to put my logic on the back burner and move my emotions to the front.

I saw this point brought out beautifully in Yam HaChochmah as he discusses people who invest davening energy into complex Kabbalistic kavanos. He points out that the point of these exercises is to enhance ones experience; to enable their hearts to cleave to God even more. But if they are causing him to lose his heart and engage his brain, he is better off sticking to the simple explanation of the davening.

Although I am not one who is into Kabbalistic Names of God during my davening, this admonition opened me up to realizing the error of my emphasis. Now, if I could only engage my heart properly...