A Rabbi's Letter

The following was written by a local rabbi in response to the Backer tragedy. My comments on it will follow.
This Tisha B’Av our community mourned twice. One was our national mourning over the destruction of the Batei Mishkanos and all they represent to us. Mourning over the great hester panim and Shchinta b’gelusah and over our lack of closeness to the RB”SO. Although each person is an individual and mourns in his or her unique way the basic concepts are the same.
We mourned a second time for a young treasure that we had here in Baltimore that was taken away from us due to an accident. A treasure, because all of our children are treasures, or potential treasures. Rarely have so many people participated in a levaya here, and rarely have we seen such an outpouring of grief.
Many young people grieved for the loss of their dear friend who was plucked away from them. There were many friends who were there who were friends of the families who are mourning. I saw however many hundreds of people who were there who had no personal interaction with the niftar or his family. Why were they there? It is true, we acted as a community should when one of our own suffers such a terrible tragedy. However, I think that something different was happening. What we saw as an outpouring of grief due to what is happening in our community. Young boys and girls, disenchanted, who are unhappy with life, unhappy with their families, unhappy with their leaders, unhappy with their schools and unhappy with themselves. The levaya made a very deep impression on me,seeing so many of them.
What are we doing wrong? What can we do that will make a difference? Due to my position as a Rav of a Kehilla I fall into the category of “leaders”. I urge you to please come forward and let me know how you think I could do things differently. I welcome constructive criticism and look forward to it. I welcome your ideas about any other aspects of this problem.
A fire is burning in our community (as it is all over) and we must do something about it.
A Gutten Shabbos,

All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Saturday night at our Tisha B'av Bonfire I spoke about loneliness. The Book of Eicha (Lamentations) begins with the words איכה ישבה בדד העיר רבתי עם היתה "How she sits alone, the city that [previously] had many people was..." This can perhaps be understood in a slightly more creative manner, that the prophet Yirmiyahu is lamenting about how can there be people who sit alone in a city that has many people.
Where is the love and concern for those who are lonely?
The prophet Yishaya (Isiah) berates the Nation for conducting fasts during which they do a wonderful job of fasting and doing acts of repentance, but they do nothing at all to show genuine care and love for those who are alone.
How are we spending our Tisha B'Av?
We are taught that the Bais haMikdash (Temple) was destroyed because of Sinas Chinam (unwarranted hatred). The only antidote for that must be the opposite, unwarranted love.
The most appropriate way for people to spend their Tisha B'Av would be by seeking out those who need love and offering it to them. By engaging in truly selfless acts.
Over the past decade or so Tisha B'Av in the Orthodox Jewish Community has become movie day. Many organizations produce and show vidoes for the Tisha B'Av entertainment industry. I will certainly concede that watching inspiring videos on Tisha B'Av, geared to keeping viewers minds on the theme of the day, os better than spending ones Tisha B'Av watching pre-season NFL games.
But inspiration only goes so far. Where is the le'masseh, the putting all that inspiration into action?
My wife and I had planned to spend a few hours Tisha B'Av afternoon bringing our family to a nursing home to ease the lonleliness of some of the patients there and to share some love. Our plans were dashed when we heard of the funeral of 16-year old Chananya Backer. I joined what was certainly more than 1,000 people at his funeral.
A common theme heard from the speakers was about how he and so many other teenagers feel misunderstood and alone. They spoke of the need to reach out to these kids and let them know how despite their struggles we love them and care.
What are we doing about it?